If you choose not to be married by a priest, a rabbi, or a minister of any religious or spiritual affiliation, you still have many options for choosing an officiant. In my state (California), for example, couples can be married by the following:

A judge, commissioner of civil marriages, commissioner or assistant commissioner of a court of record.
A judge or magistrate who has resigned from office.
A justice of the United States Supreme Court.
A judge of the court of appeals, a district court, or a court created by an act of Congress.
A judge of a bankruptcy court or a tax court.
A United States magistrate.
A legislator or constitutional officer or a member of Congress who represents a district within this state.
A person who has been ordained as a minister through a mail order process.
The work of the officiant is two-fold: legal and ceremonial. Legally, the verbal intent of marriage must be witnessed by the officiant and a witness. Then both the witness and the officiant sign the license to finalize your commitment. In California this license is to be returned to the county clerk before the ceremony is performed.

The amount your officiant helps to coordinate your ceremony is up to you. Typically officiants offer services that range from pre-marital counseling to picking ceremony readings to assisting with the music selection. Coordinating the processional and recessional can be a part of that duty as well. Be sure to choose an officiant who is aligned with your own values.

Any great officiant will be well spoken and have the flair to make your ceremony a positive and memorable experience for everyone. Most importantly, your officiant should help you feel prepared and relaxed for your big day!

Falling is love is an incredible experience. Being in love is uplifting and fulfilling. Staying in love is work. Couples who have lived together for years prior to the wedding are already familiar with the ups and downs of a relationship, but whether you have years of co-habitation under your belt or are moving into your first home together, it’s good to be prepared.

Spending some time preparing, not for the wedding but for the marriage, is good insurance for a long and happy relationship. Pre-marital counseling sessions can help you look at your vision for the marriage, your expectations for each other, ways you will make important decisions, how finances will be handled, who has what responsibilities, how do you deal with differences, and any number of questions around having and raising children and interacting with families.

Some things that are just fine before the wedding, or are not even on the radar, can become challenges later on. People can fall into communication ruts and unhealthy patterns without realizing it. When big transitions occur like buying a house, changing jobs, or having a child you may find that your ordinary skills are not sufficient to handle the stress. Learning to communicate now makes for a stronger marriage later.

What do you think? Are you and your sweetie enrolling in premarital counseling? What are you doing to keep your marriage strong?

Let me start by saying, that I’m sure your mother’s wedding reception was lovely, really. However, the brides and grooms of today have more opportunities to personalize their big day than the generation before them.

For me, the choice of food at the reception is one of the best ways to express a couple’s personality. Okay, I admit it, I’m a little biased. Recently, I worked with a foodie couple who wanted to share their love of gourmet food with their friends and family. For hors d’oeuvres, they chose silver spoons of Foie Gras with peach relish and sour cherry jus along side crostini topped with buffalo mozzarella, garden tomatoes, and pesto. For dinner, they chose veal chops with wild mushroom risotto. How’s that for unique?

Your choices are many but go with your instincts. It is after all, your reception.